Will Be Here For You...ALWAYS!!!!

received a phone call last nite...from Nicholas...haven heard from him for months...it really felt good to hear his voice...missed u lots bro! asked me if i wanted to meet up...at 11plus?? hmmm...his voice sounded really strange...so i asked if he was drunk or something...apparently not...he broke up wif his GF and feeling super depressed...

known Nick since secondary school days...one year my junior...but we clicked really well...sleep over at each other's house...wrestle each other in bed...shared most of our stuff (we jus use each other's T-shirts, watches, zippo lighters like as if its our own...so much so tat dis dickhead sold off my porn thinkin it was his)...bump around...skip school...smoke like crazy...drink like there's no tommorrow....my parents loved him like their own...exclude the fact tat he finished most of the tibits in my kitchen...small guy wif a huge appetite...i mean he is barely up to my shoulder....but he can really eat!! we kinda stopped hanging out wif each other when we were in NS...had new frens...new hang outs...new hobbies...etc.etc. still kept in contact wif him but dun meet up as often...miss those days!

met him up after his phonecall...looked the same as before (used to say he look like andy hui)...still as cute and charming...a bit more dashing cos he's quite tanned now...but still as short.... haha!! he lost his smile though....looked really tired...still recovering from his break-up...still pinnin lots of hopes to reconcile but his GF jus refuses...can't share wif u ppl his story though...respect his privacy!! sorry peeps! he suggested to go for a ride...in my car...he drive...can i refuse? of cos not...he's my brother!! and hell yes...i trust him 101%...headed back to his place to pick up his GF's stuff (clothes and all)...wanted to return them to her....on our way to her place...gave her a call and realised tat she was out wif frens...so we jus went in circles in Geylang.. i was really worried bout him thn....his mind is everywhere....one moment he shows me his "slashed" wrist...i mean the freakin cut was so damn long...and it was all stiched up...he said he was pissed drunk when he cut himself...apparently the cut was so deep it cut into one of his arteries...ouch!!! next moment he started singing...tunning in to Class 95.0 Love Songs...how appropriate!! thn he stopped in one of the lanes...against traffic flow can!!! all becos he wanted to buy durians for his GF's mum...next moment...he started popping pills into his mouth...said it was to calm his nerves down....the look in his eyes...all dazed...like he has been possessed! man...wad is happening to my brother??

we headed to his GF's place...he wanted to wait for her to return...suspicious tat she was out wif some guy frens...we were sneakin around the void decks around her place...felt like we were stockers...it was around 12 plus when she came back in a Mercedez cabbie...he asked me to wait for him in the car...he will return her belongings...clarify some matters wif her...thn we will head home...i waited....and waited....and waited....so worried bout him....i was constantly peeping over some walls from a distance jus to see if he's ok...continued to wait ....and wait....and wait....till bout 2.40am...saw him walkin back to the car...still looking depressed....guess the talk didnt work out...jus as expected...they didnt reconcile....but guess he should be feeling better...well at least she didnt ignore him...

really very much wanted to accept his request to stay over at my place...i m sure my parents will be delighted to see him...and we can catch up on our good old times...but i had to work....so had to send him home....still very worried bout him though....wonder if he's really ok....now i m really very very sleepy....cos i slept at 4 plus...

dearest bro...if u r reading dis...be strong...some things r jus not within our control...as long as you have given ur best...thn u will not live wif regrets! whether she's meant for u eventually... fate will decide. pls dun do anything silly...i m really worried bout u...u r on medication...pls have more rest...i dun knoe how else to comfort u...but if u need a listening ear...i m always available...jus like always...!!!!